Re: Whos on first

From: Suzanne S. Barnhill (sbarnhill_at_mvps.org)
Date: 08/20/04 

Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 10:18:30 -0500

Did you mean to post this in alt.humor? 

-- 
Suzanne S. Barnhill
Microsoft MVP (Word)
Words into Type
Fairhope, Alabama USA
Word MVP FAQ site: http://word.mvps.org
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<anonymous@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
news:9b7a01c486bf$01afa3e0$a501280a@phx.gbl...
> If Abbott and Costello were around today.....Bud Abbott
> and Lou Costello's infamous sketch "Who's on first?"
> might have turned out something like this:
>
>  COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT .
>
> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
> COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and
> I'm thinking about buying a computer.
> ABBOTT: Mac?
> COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
> ABBOTT: Your computer?
> COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
> ABBOTT: Mac?
> COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
> ABBOTT: What about Windows?
> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
> the windows?
> ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and
> software.
> ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use
> to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.
> What have you got?
> ABBOTT: Office.
> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
> anything?
> ABBOTT: I just did.
> COSTELLO: You just did what?
> ABBOTT: Recommend something.
> COSTELLO: You recommended something?
> ABBOTT: Yes.
> COSTELLO: For my office?
> ABBOTT: Yes.
> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
> ABBOTT: Office.
> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
> ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
> COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets
> just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a
> proposal. What do I need?
> ABBOTT: Word.
> COSTELLO: What word?
> ABBOTT: Word in Office.
> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W"
> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't
> start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I
> watch movies on the Internet?
> ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
> COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch
> is none of your business Just tell me what I need!
> ABBOTT: Real One.
> COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2,
> 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
> ABBOTT: Of course.
> COSTELLO: Great! With what?
> ABBOTT: Real One.
> COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
> movie. What  do I do?
> ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
> COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
> ABBOTT: The blue "1".
> COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
> ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is
> Word.
> COSTELLO: What word?
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for
> windows"!
> ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in
> the world.
> COSTELLO: It is?
> ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
> Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words
> out there.
> COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
> ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One
> isn't even  part of Office.
> COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about
> financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my
> money with?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
> COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
> COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How
> much?
> ABBOTT: One copy.
> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
>
> :-D

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