Exchange on SBS2003 ~ Timeouts

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We are having a problem sending mail to a single domain; messages just sit
in the default SMTP server queue for days until *something* happens to let
them pass... the only info it gives me is "The connection was dropped due to
an SMTP protocol event sink."

I have spoken to the bloke who runs the mail server at the other end and he
tells me it is common problem with people trying to send to his domain and
that the fix is to increase the initial handshakey timeout at our end... it
seems to me that if lots of people are having this issue it might just be
his problem, but as he seems disinclined to do anything about it I suppose I
will have to ;)

I didn't really understand his explanation and he didn't know where this
setting may be in SBS2003 and related Exchange - can anyone point me in the
right direction?

Thanks ;)



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