PowerPoint 2003 crashes on Insert Sound from File

Crashes everytime, regardless of format of the audio file. It does this on
new presentations, existing presentations, presentations with sound already,
without sound yet.
I have been fighting this for two days and used a variety of schemes to get
around this problem but nothing I've tried works.

Please don't tell me to reinstall. My disks are at home. I am traveling for
two weeks and am over 500 miles away.

Media Player 11
PowerPoint 2003