Can't share any applications, buttons are grayed out

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I'm wondering if any of you have ever tried to use the shared desktop but all the buttons in the share window are grayed out as if not in a call?

I have several clients that this happens with and I can't seem to find the link as to why just some people have this problem.
I've researched the newsgroups and have checked with several network gurus but we are all stumped.

Here's what isn't the problem:
- at both ends of the call, the users are local admins
- we enabled the tools / remote desktop sharing wizard and enabled it
- we added the PC's IP address to the router's DMZ to eliminate a blocked port
- there are NO third party firewalls (ZoneAlarm, BlackIce, etc)
- the clients are all using XP SP2 and the firewall has netmeeting added to the exception list, I even tried to disable it completely but it still can't be shared
- the calls goes through all the time and we can see both names, but in the sharing window, everything is gray, we chat open a chat window either
- for most people I can call them or they can call me and everything is fine, it is just SOME people have problems all the time and we don't know why
- since I can call most people and they can call me, I think the problem is on the remote end, but I am not 100% certain
- for the people who have SBS, I make a VPN call first then connect via RDP or netmeeting and this ALWAYS works
- for other people in simpler home situations (single PC and router, no domain, no ISA, etc) it just never works
- it is not a group policy issue as I never used them for simple home systems that seem to cause the most grief

At first I said, oh well, it is just one or two people, but lately I'm seeing it more often and if I must resolve this soon.

I am hoping someone has a few ideas to try out

Thanks in advance

Richard Fagen
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