Re: why>?


Harlan

you need to hear ranting because you are a fucking idiot who uses the
wrong program.

I wake up in the middle of the night; and i see the forest is on fire;
of course im going to run around trying to warn people.

EXCEL IS A DEAD END STREET.

MICROSOFT WILL MILK THE *** OUT OF YOU EXCEL DORKS; AND YOU STILL WONT
HAVE THE POWER AND SIMPLICITY THAT YOU NEED TO GET YOUR JOB DONE.

If Ms made a version of excel that LOOKED just like Excel; but it
stored everything in SQL Server-- maybe that would be something that is
worthwhile.

Store the values and the formulas in SQL Server.. so if i need to
update a whole sihtload of 10,000 functions; i can just use a simple

UPDATE XLS_FORMULAS SET FormulaText = replace(formulatext, 'TRIM',
'LTRIM')
WHERE Worksheet = ''sheet1' and row = 'A'

I mean seriously; if Excel had more functionality-- to be able to
update this sort of crap--- without using a dangerous Excel macro--
then maybe i would be happy with excel.

if i could source an excel workbook with data from a sproc.. and i
could take input parameters--- then maybe I would stop bitching and
moaning.

If Excel had half the functionality of Crystal Reports-- then maybe i
would stop bitching and moaning.

As it is; you idiots dont need MS excel; you need WORKS.

much more simplicity than what you've got now.

so that maybe instead of running around; and wasthing 20/hours a week
from 40 different people in a simple budgeting or forecasting
application-- then maybe Excel would be able to 'be manageable'

as it is; excel isn't manageable.
Microsoft sells us sharepoint; just so that we can version
spreadsheets.

And Excel STILL isn't a multi-user application.

If we could leverage Excel reports inside of SQL Server Reporting
Services; then maybe Excel woudln't be so friggin worthless.

I just don't see Excel ever growing into something valuable.
with Access; if you have reports; you can upsize these to SSRS; you can
export them to SNP (and read the defs with word; or powerpoint or
anything else you want.

With Excel; if you take a dozen people and they spend a dozen days
building spreadsheets; all you have is 144 days down the drain.

You can't leverage a dozen spreadsheets and turn it into something
valuable.

You can leverage a single database and have 9 different ways to import
/ export data.

you can present data in a database; even when people are updating
values.

it is extremely powerful.

so instead of emailing john and saying 'are you out of that spread***
yet'

you can email john and say yeah I was looking over your shoulder when
you were updating formulas; and i was really impressed... does that new
laser muose help you that much?

so instead of 'do you want to open this read-only and make YET ANOTHER
COPY OF THE SAME DAMN REPORT'

you can leverage excel with multiple users and 6 different flavors of
locking.

So I claim that the problem is that you excel dorks are
one-trick-ponies.

and it would behoove you guys to learn a real program.

Because I highly reccomend to every CEO, CIO
that instead of ALLOWING a decentralized system-- like excel-- to
continue to cost you millions of dollars a year in labor-- with no
tangible benefit

I urge everyone

throw away excel
uninstall it and spit on anyone that still uses it.

it is a disease and these excel dorks are all lepers.

START THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX.

LEAVE EXCEL IMMEDIATELY -- learn Oracle or Crystal or Asp.net for all I
care.

All i care about is GTFU (grow the *** up) and lose the training
wheels.

if Oracle saw value in excel they would have a competitive product.
that is why there is only one vendor for spreadsheets... because most
technology ocmpanies says 'who gives a *** about spreadsheets'

BECAUSE SPREADSHEETS ARE WORTHLESS.

throw away excel; spit on the Microsoft Salesperson who tries to
upgrade you to 2007 with 'XmlStorage' and 'Excel Server Enterprise
Edition'

tell them to go back to the drawing board and dont sell us a version of
office until it
WORKS

until it does that WE NEED TO DO.

A system that is MORE decentralizewd; where nobody can edit the same
work*** at the same time??

WORTHLESS.



I'm not here to say 'MY FEEDBACK IS VALUABLE AARON KEMPF IS SO GREAT'
So who gives a flying *** what 80% of my posts say.

I am here to warn you that you guys are making a big mistake; and it
would behoove you to look into the db world for a giant jolt of KEEP IT
SIMPLE STUPID.

As it is right now; your nested formulas are worthless.

As it is right now; Excel is one-dimensional.


I could give a flying *** if you like my posting.

I am here to say what needs to be said.

Because dipshits like Harlan Grove are sending millions of blind sheep
THE WRONG DIRECTION.

'oh excel is sooooo peachy if you copy and paste all day long; you will
be CFO in no time'

WRONG ANSWER HARLAN

'oh excel is so wonderful it gives me a hard-on even thinking about it'

WRONG ANSWER HARLAN

'oh excel is so great; if we teach it to everyone then we can all dance
around the firepit; holding hands and singing'

WRONG ANSWER HARLAN

Excel is a fucking waste of time

I <SPIT> at you and may you children smell of lingenberries
I <SPIT> at you and may you children smell of lingenberries
I <SPIT> at you and may you children smell of lingenberries





Harlan Grove wrote:
aaron.kempf@xxxxxxxxx wrote...
a good chunk of time?

maybe 20 minutes a week?

If only. Look at the number of posts you make in different newsgroups.

Then again, given what's in your post, a random ranting script could
generate most of what 'you' write.

i give plenty of help

All anyone needs to do is read what you've posted in various
newsgroups. Far more ranting than help. You may claim the ranting is
help, but the drunk who lives by the dumpster at the supermarket would
claim his ranting about aliens is also help.

WE WILL AUTOMATE YOU OUT OF A JOB.
WE -- RDBMS Engineers-- Have been doing it already for 10 years.

I'm safe. You couldn't understand my job. Nothing is as inept as a
programmer with no clue about real business.

.