Re: why>?

re:
For doing repetetive, low-level stuff. The big difference between you
and me is that for what you do, one task is pretty much the same as the

next one. Not for me. Each account I review requires different
treatment because they don't all do the same thing and they operate in
different places with different numbers of and relationships between
subsidiary entities. I can't afford to take a cookie-cutter approach to

what I do. But when I need customer data from my own company's
databases, I do query those databases. I just don't limit myself to
using ONLY the database tools.


you can't afford to take a cookie-cutter approach then some
enterprising Indian lad will automate the *** out of your job.

In this world; there is room for 2 kinds of people:

a) people that automate
b) people that work in india.

which do you want to be Harlan??

You can't take a cookie-cutter approach.

*** buddy-- tell that to your boss... ok?

Say 'oh these cases are all different-- they can't FIT in a database'

fucking dipshits.

your virulent bull*** is better off in a different newsgroup.

'oh but my data is too complex to fit into a database'

fucking dip***

'oh but it all comes in XML'

fucking dip***

'oh but they email me XLS data'

fucking dip***; dont you realize that Access can utilize Excel data
better, faster, stronger than Excel can?

Access and Excel are both applications and mediums for storing data.

Excel has no value for either a data-storage format; nor for reporting
on data.

Not everything you do is soooooooooooo complex Harlan.
Not all databases need to be properly normalized.

Bend some rules-- imagine an automated world.

your job-- sitting around and building contracts; or negotiating
interest rates-- or whatever the *** you think that you do--

your job is so fucking repetitive it makes me sick.

and you sit there and do the same damn thing week in and week out.... i
mean-- where do you get off; actually billing your company for spending
time playing video games?

that's all that excel is to me-- video games.

let's see who can copy and paste these cells the fastest.



fucking dipshits go eat shit for breakfast



Harlan Grove wrote:
dbahooker@xxxxxxxxxxx wrote...
when you use formulas to validate entries; what are you comparing
against..
A DATABASE?
...

Wrong again, as usual. Most of the data I work with as well as most of
the people in my department come FROM customers. I'll be explicit
because you've been easily confused about this before: DATA IS PROVIDED
*BY* CUSTOMERS, **NOT** DATA *ABOUT* CUSTOMERS FROM MY COMPANY'S
DATABASES. So, nope, validating entries against e-mails or other
spread***, PDF, Word and plain text files usually. One customer
(among a few hundred) sends MDB files, but the tables aren't normalized
nor do they have primary keys.

can you leverage 10,000 spreadsheets into something valuable?
...

Don't try. That's not what properly conceived spread*** models do
well. Granted! (And I've never denied this.) I wouldn't want to move
tons of coal with minivans, but I wouldn't want to use Mack trucks (or
trains) as ambulances.

However, *IF* similar data is located in consistent locations, it's not
all that difficult (well, for me, not you) to collect it using macros.
But I have an advantage: I can focus on getting the job done even when
I use Excel; once Excel appears in the mix, you can't concentrate on
anything other than your own pet peeves. Have you consider counselling?
Or Prozac? Or maybe just some tranqs?

you CAN'T AUTOMATE excel like i can automate SQL. I mean--- don't you
even fucking try to compare the 2.

If I were doing the repetetive, low-level stuff you do, I'd be using
databases more. But I don't, so I don't.

for starters, MSDE comes with a full job scheduler.
...

For doing repetetive, low-level stuff. The big difference between you
and me is that for what you do, one task is pretty much the same as the
next one. Not for me. Each account I review requires different
treatment because they don't all do the same thing and they operate in
different places with different numbers of and relationships between
subsidiary entities. I can't afford to take a cookie-cutter approach to
what I do. But when I need customer data from my own company's
databases, I do query those databases. I just don't limit myself to
using ONLY the database tools.

You make a virtue out of your own inadequacies.

Windows-- your desktop-- the basic task scheduler is a piece of ***;
and it doesn't work for half of the things that you need it to do.

?

You mean look at the clock then run something manually?

Anyway, I don't produce reports, regularly scheduled or otherwise. I
provide a handful of numbers that go into contracts. No doubt you'd
consider those contracts to be nothing more than reports, and it's one
of my fonder hopes that you actually make the mistake of treating some
of your own contracts that way so you can learn from experience from
some lawyers about such foolishness.

have a spread*** open up and refresh a couple of named ranges... and
SEND AN EMAIL IF IT FAILS.
...

Who sends e-mails when INTERACTIVE users make entry errors? Well, you
might, but sensible people would display error/warning messages
directing the user to fix the error and how to do so/what's expected.

This is like the difference between running a train network vs a fleet
of cabs. The train operator needs to know when any section of track
becomes unusable, and they need to stop all trains heading towards
those tracks, and then they'd need to figure out the optimal way to
reroute them. For taxis, if one cab gets a flat tire, the dispatcher
can send another cab for the passengers and a wrecker (if necessary)
for the first cab. Or (mabe a better metaphor), if an accident closes a
bridge, the dispatcher can radio that to the drivers, and they can
radio back for info on alternative routes.

Maybe a poor metaphor, but my point is that the large the system, the
larger the support infrastructure and warning mechanisms need to be.
Spreadsheets are not ideal for building large systems, but they are
good for smaller subsystems and ad hoc analysis. You can't understand
that. Too bad.

you couldn't do that if your life depended on it.
...

Couldn't or wouldn't? I certainly wouldn't, but does Excel provide
Calculate event handlers? Why, yes, it does. Can event handlers,
including the Calculate event handler, check the values of formulas,
even validation formulas? Why, yes, they can! Can event handlers then
send e-mails? Yes, but depending on the user's e-mail program it may
require automation (e.g., in companies, such as mine, which use Lotus
Notes).

have a spread*** open up and refresh a couple of named ranges... and
SEND AN NET SEND IF IT FAILS.

you couldn't do that if your life depended on it.
...

What? Use VBA's Shell command to run net send? You believe you need to
be a DBA to figure out how to do that?

take a backup of a spread*** WHILE the spread*** is being changed.
...

Here you show a fundamental lack of understanding of a critical
difference between spreadsheets and databases. Spreadsheets, for good
or ill, are loaded entirely into memory before they function. You could
backup the file on disk while it's loaded in memory (or if you can't,
it's the OS rather than Excel that prevents open files from being
accessed by other processes). But if changes had already been made in
the spread***, either the file will be saved, in which case the file
on disk is obsolete so not worth backing up, or the file won't be
saved, in which case if anything it's the OS that prevents the backup
process from opening it.

make a copy of a spread*** 'without any data in it'

Gosh, you mean use a macro to iterate through all worksheets, clearing
all unlocked cells in the UsedRange, then saving the file under a
different filename? Yeah, I must not even have thought how to do it,
much less done it before.

SORT A SPREAD*** BASED ON VARAIABLES AND CALCULATIONS
you have to go through and make a new column; add the formula and then
sort the whole work***.
...

Why? You're the one making reports. Maybe you have to sort recordsets
repeatedly, but I don't do much sorting.

this can frequently break other worksheets; so be careful lol
...

If you don't know what you're doing and have formulas elsewhere that
refer to individual cells in tables that could be sorted, then you get
what you deserve. On the other hand, if you refer to values in tables
using VLOOKUP(.,.,.,0), no unpleasant surprises.

copy and paste is the same as PEN AND PAPER
...

Granted, but somehow pen and paper built the modern world. Databases,
at least if there were more of you running them, would unmake it.

.